Thursday, March 3, 2011

Is Polyamory Just Plain Wrong? (DP vs. PPL #1)

Ladies, Gents, and Gender-Category Eschewers (CaSchews) – it’s time to RUMBLE!  The first match between the Dominant Paradigm and the Poly Party Line is about to begin!

DP has taken a solid stance: Polyamory is just plain wrong.  Or, as my mother once put it, “Your lifestyle is immoral and unethical.”

PPL meets DP head-on: Love is never wrong.

Hmmm, what’s a Ref to do?

Let’s start by asking DP a few genteel questions, shall we?

Me: That’s a fierce mouth-guard you’ve got there.
DP:  Fank-oo.  (Takes it out.)  Okay, I’ll talk.  But I’m not budging on this one.
Me: Fine, fine.  Not trying to lead you off the straight and narrow.  I’m just curious: WHY do you think polyamory is wrong?
DP: It just is.
Me: Um…okay. 
DP: I feel it in my gut.
Me: Sounds like airplane food to me.
DP: It’s called a conscience: the knowledge of right and wrong, and a commitment to do what’s right.
Me: So you were pre-programmed to know the difference between right and wrong.
DP: By God. Yes.
Me: I see.  You’re aware, I’m sure, that many religious texts are simply rotten with polygamists?
DP: Things were different then.
Me: So “right” and “wrong” aren’t static? Moral guidelines can change, depending on the context?
DP: All I know is, what you’re doing was, is, and always will be wrong.  I know that for sure.
Me: You know this because…
DP:  God told me so.

Okee-dokey.  Since there is no way of responding to someone who cites a personal communication from God, or a personal interpretation of God’s more general communications, as the end-all be-all of a moral discussion, let’s move on to PPL.

PPL: (Big kiss.) Hello, gorgeous.
Me: Wow. Um, yeah, thanks.  So, hi.  Good to meet you.  I’m Viny, the referee here, and I’ve got a few questions for you.
PPL: Okay, shoot. Get it?  Shoot?  Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Me: Yes. Ahem.  So: Love is never wrong.  “Never.”  Now, that’s a pretty strong word, isn’t it?
PPL: Can you think of anything more fabulous and wonderful than love?
Me: No, I can’t.
PPL: I rest my case. So, wanna rest our cases together?
Me: Hang on just a sec. Does love always involve sex? And, if so, are you going to tell me that sex is never wrong, too?
PPL: Sex is great.  Especially tantric sex.
Me: I’m not disputing that.  But you’re evading the question.
PPL: (Getting serious) Not all love is sexual.  For instance, I have a no-sex girlfriend, and a she-male slave whom I don’t allow to have sex with me, or anyone else for that matter.
Me: And you love these people?
PPL: Absolutely.  At least, every now and then. I’ve got a lot going on. You see, love may be infinite, but time and energy are not.
Me: You’re preaching to the choir on that one, PPL. But what about my other question? Is sex ever wrong?
PPL: We’re talking consensual? We’re talking adults?
Me: Of course.
PPL: Sex is never wrong. It’s a beautiful expression of the life-force. So long as it takes place between consenting adults who have read Stranger in a Strange Land and The Ethical Slut.
Me: I guess that about wraps it up, then.
PPL: Speaking of wrapping things up, I feel this intense desire to connect with you.
Me: No, thanks.
PPL: Your loss, honey. 

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