A talent for intimate relationships: 5
I don't actually get involved in that many intimate relationships, so it seems an odd thing to call a talent. On the other hand, none has yet been a failure. I've also made a total of one stained glass window, and many people were very impressed by it. Am I thus a talented glass artisan?
High self esteem: 8
When I first started down the poly path, my self esteem probably would have rated about a 3, and self esteem issues were the source of most of my grief. By now, though, I have sufficiently internalized the idea of inherent, unassailable, non-externally-determined self-worth, to the extent that not much bothers me in this way anymore. Sometimes I feel that I do not have much to offer others (at least most others, at least in an intimate context), but this is more of an objective statement than a source of shame.
A good juggler: 7
I learned to juggle literal objects from a book called Juggling for the Complete Klutz, which rated the difficulty of juggling multiple balls something like this: 3 balls, on a scale of one to ten, is a two. 4 balls is a five. 5 balls is a thirty-three. Similarly, I consider myself a good juggler of activities as long as the number does not exceed a certain overwhelming threshold (in this case, maybe somewhere in the neighborhood of 5-7 categories of things to keep track of), at which point I freak out, demand simplification, and next thing you know a Goodwill truck is taking away all the furniture in the house.
A love of intensity: 8
Wait, WHY can't we hike the extra nine miles today? Wait, WHY isn't there any joint in town with flame cannons like Opulent Temple has? On the other hand, I happen to know someone who can always outdo me in any measure of relationship intensity, so the scale must keep going above whatever point I'm at.
Appreciation for diversity: 7
Like the last item, this one is sometimes known to its detractors as "getting bored easily". I actively want people to differ from me in ways that provide me with something to think about and learn from. However, I find some diversity hard to appreciate ("We have something for EVERYONE! Plush steering wheel covers with the logos of EVERY major sports team!")
Interpersonal skills: 6
It seems that not bringing a huge pile of your own ego bullshit to the table is half the battle, so I think I am not doing TOO badly these days, despite maybe not much inherent talent as a communicator. It's just been practice, practice, practice.
Ability to be flexible, creative, and spontaneous: 8, 10, 4.
Hey, these are not the same. Flexible = can change my plans or preconceived notions when new information comes along. Yeah, usually. Creative = when presented with a new challenge, can and actively will come up with something outside the usual range of responses. Heck, people come to me for this. Spontaneous = when not doing anything, will start doing something without a plan or other external input. No, sadly, I often can't think of anything.
A sex-positive attitude: 2
Well, I don't know... I'm actually very sex-positive... in theory. That is, I pretty readily accept others' quirks and kinks without judgment (though not always without envy). But since that all goes out the window when it comes to myself, I pretty much end up believing that anyone who knows what's good for her will steer clear of my sexuality. I don't think that adds up to much positivity.
An independent streak: 10
A streak? On what background?
A team spirit: 8
As former bosses and coworkers of mine can attest, this number goes way down when the express mandate of the team is to do something like build an ugly new subdivision. But when we're talking about relationships (where I am not trying to sabotage the team's goals), I am probably a good team player in the sense that I'm not trying to get ahead at anyone's expense, or demand fame or credit or star status.
A commitment to personal and spiritual growth: 8
What else is there to do in life? If only a cognitive commitment to growth resulted in every day being a fantastic adventure!
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